Welcome to my first blog! Nice of you to read along.
As a midwife, I am often asked what it is like to be pregnant myself. Needless to say, it feels very special. I would like to take you through our journey and how I go through it as a midwife.
So let's start at the beginning: getting pregnant.
Becoming carefree pregnant comes naturally to many people. For others, it isn't. First of all, let me say that we had no problems getting pregnant and we are therefore very lucky. This is by no means a matter of course and if you experience problems with this, do not hesitate to make an appointment with your GP or midwife. In January 2021, we had the first positive test in our hands, a special moment. Of course I was not ignorant, in daily practice I see how nature works and that we have no influence on it. So I knew very well that a pregnancy is not always a healthy pregnancy. At the first ultrasound, I seemed to be less pregnant than expected. Something that was actually "mathematically" strange already. Because I bravely kept track of my cycle in an app, I actually knew exactly when I had had my ovulation. Still, we always say and see in practice that nature is unpredictable and that can be both positive and negative. A week later, we had another ultrasound and the amniotic sac did appear to have grown, unfortunately we still didn't see an embryo. The chances of a healthy pregnancy were getting smaller but not impossible, so we decided to wait two weeks for the next ultrasound. By then, an embryo should be visible! Unfortunately, this ultrasound showed that it was not good and that there was an empty amniotic sac or as they call it in midwifery language: a blighted ovum. As I had told so many people about the options available at such a time, I was now given this information myself. Also largely to inform my partner because of course he did not know what was possible. I had three options, I could choose to let nature take its course and let the miscarriage start on its own, I could choose medication to get the miscarriage going or I could choose curettage. The latter means they empty the uterus in the hospital in the operating theatre. Every miscarriage feels different for everyone so luckily each couple can choose the path that feels best for them at the time. For me, it felt right to let nature take its course, I had faith in my body at the time and felt this confidence especially as my body had very well realised it was not a healthy pregnancy and therefore intervened early. In the end, it took another three weeks for the miscarriage to start and it went on without complications. In this situation, my knowledge really helped me tremendously and it has been very reassuring to know how common this is. So I want to share this story with you to support all couples who have been through this and let them know that it is actually as normal as a healthy pregnancy or childbirth. It is nature and that includes a non-healthy pregnancy. After the miscarriage, I felt good and we really wanted to try again. What we could not and did not dare to dream was a positive pregnancy test after 4 weeks! Of course, I knew that the chances were slightly higher the first cycle after a miscarriage but I never dared to dream that it would be the same for us. What struck me immediately was that I felt much different from the first pregnancy. Where the first pregnancy was mostly self-protection, now I felt very good. Because of the uncertainty with the first pregnancy, we chose to have the 1e ultrasound. Naturally, with clammy hands and nerves, I lay on the examination table, Jordy's clammy hand in mine. Would it be all right? Pretty soon we saw the most beautiful thing you can see as expecting parents, a beating heart.
(If you have had a miscarriage and would like to talk about it or find that it still controls your daily life, please send a pm. We can always help you get the right help)